Monday, April 21, 2008

Days 8, 9 and 10 -- Green Smoothies Rule!

Saturday's smoothie: banana, grapefruit juice and spinach;
Sunday's: banana, grapefruit, swiss chard and parsley; and
Monday's: kiwi, grapefruit, mixed berries, swiss chard and parsley.
That one turned out to be too, too tart (think PUCKERED lips)! Next time I'll add a little agave nectar to cut the sourness.

I'm experimenting with berries because of their high antioxidant content and also because they're just scrumptuous. With summer around the bend there will be berries galore. Speaking of SUMMER, have I said how thrilled I am that winter is finally over?! (It's been a "winter" for me in more ways than just the weather ... as I've shaken off a lot of sorrow and pain in the last six months or so ... NEVER to take it on again, mind you!) As a result, I'm in even more of a celebratory mood this spring than I normally am come spring time. Looking for a new place to live, as I am at present, has taken on greater significance as well, because this Spring truly ushers in for me a whole new phase of my life in all aspects: body, soul, spirit, and emotions.

I haven't a CLUE where I'm heading . . . except I know it's toward more and more wholeness (the true meaning of "salvation" btw) in all those aspects of my life. I also know that a promise I was given last autumn -- that God would be taking me through a process of deep "purification" in the months ahead -- is in full swing. (That word "purification" sounds hoaky, I know, but when I looked up the word in Webster's it was filled with positive promise) And in this process, no stone is being left unturned! From my physical body to my emotions . . . in areas of personal health to my long-stalled relationship with my daughter . . . in connection with my work and a serious vocational shift . . . in my perceptions of how to communicate better with people who matter a great deal to me, to being better in touch with my own emotions so as to express them in healthy ways rather than supress them and create inner turmoil for myself . . . there is a LOT of "house cleaning" being done! And there is a lot of BAGGAGE being off loaded in the process too: to which all I can say is, "It's about time!"

And in all of this "decluttering" -- some of it a bit "hairy" emotionally -- I'm reminded of a phrase I first heard about a decade ago, relating to God's presence: "Don't wrestle, just nestle." It was from someone who, despite our paths crossing on rocky terrain, was significant in my letting go of a lot of emotional and mental garbage I held onto about myself.

It's amazing how two people w/ quite a bit of "emotional baggage" -- especially childhood abuse and trauma in young adulthood -- are often attracted to one another. That was definitely the case w/ the person I mentioned just above. We both were subject to traumatic childhood abuses and both of us had unplanned pregnancies that dramatically altered the courses of our young adult lives. He was forced by personal obligation into a marriage w/ someone due to a prenancy; I lost a child to adoption due to my pregnancy and who I was taught to be at the time.

I've seen it time and time again -- and lived it out, first-hand -- this attraction between two people w/ quite a bit of emotional baggage. In trying to relate to one another (actually, in being woefully UNABLE to relate to one another), they end up becoming the catalysts that finally enable both to DUMP the baggage they've each carried for years! Irony of ironies. What is sad is that they often walk away from one another before the fruit of the "dumping" shows up. I think they walk away because it's just too uncomfortable and risky to stay too long in the "baggage dance" with someone (and even more impossible when only one acknowledges having any)! It is easy to miss the poignant truth that LOVING, and BEING LOVED by, one another is what lets us finally put down the baggage! The "goodies" that show up then are the very things that make for great relationships: joy, self-love and self-respect.