Thursday, October 18, 2007

October 18, 2007: Soul Mates

Two months ago today I met my soul mate. I'd hoped he might be -- and had a deep sense that he was. But what I didn't know as I first laid eyes on him, joyfully smiling from ear to ear, and taking his hands in mine -- was that my concept of "soul mate" was about to be expanded a bit!

Yup, on this date in August I met my soul mate. But not in a romantic (unrealistic) sense of the magic, "perfect fit"of a person with whom one never has conflict, in whom no flaw is seen, and in whose presence is perennial bliss. Nope. This was the "real deal" of a soul mate; not some false ideal of one. This is the person who helps you come squarely face-to-face with what is living in yourself to such a degree that it shakes up your world almost violently -- painfully -- yet all for the good. And your meeting them is all to the end that you find your way back "home" . . . back to that beautiful, genuine self that somehow got overshadowed, went underground . . . and finally got abandoned because of all that Life had dished out to us over the years.

When we're ready to reconnect with that true self . . . at just that time, a soul mate will show up, become our mirror, and point the way "home" -- whatever that "home" happens to be for each of us.

For me it is being at peace with my body.
Not just at peace with it, but actually loving it!
Having a mind and body no longer at war with one another.
That is "home" to me.

But what was surprising was that I'd made such strides already, and actually felt like I was so close to that "home" (even coming down the walkway to the front door, so to speak!) But I wasn't. Instead, I was heading to meet my soul mate -- probably the last guide I'll ever need to arrive "home" via the shortest, fastest route!

A friend is reading a book entitled, Eat, Pray, Love. I picked it up and randomly opened to a passage. It was about a different definition of "soul mate" . . . not the rosy, glowy, blue-skies and sunsets one. And as I read the passage -- wham(!)-- it hit me that I'd just met mine.

(The italicised parts are my emphases.)

["Groceries"] “I seriously believed that David was my soul mate.”

[Richard, a fellow Ashram guest from Texas] “He probably was. Your problem is that you don’t understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you will ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can’t let this one go. It’s over, Groceries. David’s purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so a new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it."

I came across another bit on "soul connections" quite out of nowhere the other day too. To me, it rang equally as true as the above excerpt from Eat, Pray, Love -- even though it appears contradictory to it. (Again, the italicised words are my emphases.)

"A soul connection is a resonance between two people who respond to the essential beauty of each other's individual natures, behind their facades, and who connect on this deeper level. This kind of mutual recognition provides the catalyst for a potent alchemy. It is a sacred alliance whose purpose is to help both partners discover and realize their deepest potentials. While a heart connection lets us appreciate those we love just as they are, a soul connection opens up a further dimension -- seeing and loving them for who they could be, and for who we could become under their influence. This means recognizing that we both have an important part to play in helping each other become more fully who we are. A soul connection not only inspires us to expand, but also forces us to confront whatever stands in the way of that expansion." (Love and Awakening by John Welwood) .

When I read the above, it made me wonder if the Eat, Pray, Love kinda soulmates could ever have the heart connection Welwood describes. I suppose in a perfect world, eh?

So today I thank *** for my soul mate.
May he be blessed with every joy and happiness.
May he welcome the purifying, healing work *** is doing in him.
For I came into his life for as deep a purpose as he came into mine!
It's how *** works when He brings people together, I think.
It is never to just benefit one.
*** is way too clever and efficient for that!